Hmmm, I think they tried to squeeze in too much of the old commercial, but then as a former ad writer I tend to be overly critical of these things :-P
I don't remember the old commercial, but this one feels kind of rushed.Allen
Yeah, it is what it is. It could have been a lot better and next time I'll be dealing with the previous director. I can also tell you that left to their own devices it would have been a catastrophe. I think it's fine for now. In the future I'll have one done more often, possibly once a year.
I just noticed it has the old phone number. It wouldn't have caught me eye if I hadn't watched it so many times.
Now I don't want to crap on the commercial. So please accept my rant below, as potential stuff for future commercials.It's the biggest mashup of stuff trying to fit into the bucket I've ever seen. It's got the look of too many cooks, and a first time video editor who said "ya more effects..." too many times.- Pick a font, just one font maybe two.- Pick a message. 30 secs, you cant tell a story, it's info only. Is this a we've moved commercial, is this a general overview?- Put a background behind the video so you can actually see the company name without it blending in the background.- All the shots have a kid in them. Is that the demographic that drives sales?- The last view of the store front door gives you absolutely no frame of reference. If it had more of the lot it would be useful.- The url was there for the first part were did it go.- It looks like you took half the old commercial and put in half of a new commercial. The end result is rather disjointed and feels awkward.Gary it's way below your standards. But on the plus side, it's only 30 seconds of commercial, and I do hear the "Black Diamond Games" in my head after it.Although having you dress up as a D&D version of Cal Worthington would be really cool. "Hi I'm Gary and this is my pet Dragon spot."
Or sell the community center angle...
"But on the plus side, it's only 30 seconds of commercial, and I do hear the "Black Diamond Games" in my head after it."Well, I guess that's something. ;)If you come away from it remembering the name and what it is, that's mission accomplished for the most part.Still bouncing around in my head: Head-on, Apply directly to the forehead!Horrible ad. Mission accomplished, although the stuff apparently doesn't work. Ads can't fix that.As for my commercial, this is what you get for free with paid air time. Now if it's not worth airing, we've got a big problem.
A revision has fixed the phone number issue and added a website at the end of the commercial, but that's all.